The Footnotes Blog

What Do We Do When Everything Changes?

Photo belongs to James R. Howard

In the aftermath of a traumatic event, such as a serious injury to yourself or a family member that results in hospitalization, or death of a loved one, coming to terms with what has happened, and what happens next is often very difficult. The spontaneity of these situations propels a wave of destruction to everything we thought we knew about the world around us, about what we were supposed to do, and figuring out what to do next can seem like an impossible hill to climb.

Photo belongs to James R. Howard

You need to understand what you’re feeling. You might feel quite shocked or physically ill once you hear the news that someone important in your life needs immediate, life-saving treatment, or you might find yourself in a state of shock after a major accident or injury, or if someone close to you has just passed away . The anxiety, the stress, the fear, the anger, the exhaustion, these feelings are real, but you can’t let them overwhelm you. Often, we say to ourselves we need to be strong, and carry that load, but it can be just as hard to let go, especially when we don’t have control.

Photo belongs to James R. Howard

If you find yourself going through a traumatic event of any kind, know that you are not alone, and you can reach out to me if you need someone to talk to, or you can look here on this list to find a licensed therapist to talk to. I have benefitted from talking with a therapist before, and I believe talking can help us understand the context of the decisions we need to make. Take the time you need to figure yourself and your situation and avoid numbing our feelings with alcohol, or pot, or whatever. I know it’s hard but trust me; sobriety right now is worth its weight in gold.

Photo belongs to James R. Howard

So now what? How do I lead myself out of this hole, I hear you ask. Start with understanding your situation, and how you got there. Understand what you and any other possible participants might have done, and what decision(s) needs to be made, and what will happen because of those decisions. Ask yourself if you are doing the right thing, and then ask someone else, because it’s important to get a second opinion from someone you trust in these difficult times. Reach out for the support you need and take things one day at a time. It gets easier.